For some people it may take a few shots of tequila, others maybe a whole bottle of wine, for me…. a 6 hour car ride, alone, with plenty of silence and some good ol’ self reflection brought me something called TRUTH.
I started this “blog" about four months ago with the intention of it being a creative outlet. I thought it would give me something fun to do while I was in between projects or auditions, somewhere I could express thoughts, stories, advice, ideas.. But it only took about five posts in to realize the truth is, I am in fact NOT a "blogger". I was suddenly ridden with stress and anxiety at the thought of having to post another blog entry, worried about how many photos I would attach, the quality of the edits, did my outfit look cute enough, trendy enough. Making sure not to post to many photos of myself in order to not seem to vain. If any of you have attempted to also hop on the blog wagon, then maybe you felt the same anxiety and stress each time you open your computer and decided to write a new post. I was worried about what my next topic would be, pretty soon every outing I took was turning into a photo shoot or an event even though all I was doing was getting a cup of coffee! The need to all of a sudden make my life look much more fabulous than it actually is. But like I said it didn't take me long to realize that I am in fact not a blogger/fashion mogul/social influencer, I am and aspire to be, a great actor/writer/entertainer. My intention was never to make an income or gain a huge following.. while those things would be great. I simply enjoy typing my thoughts and sharing experiences. So I guess I should've labeled this as an online journal.
With that said, I will return to the initial intention of this online platform and I will share stories, ideas, struggles, good news, bad news and perhaps interesting facts of life. I will provide the occasional photo or two but I will no longer stress about it being perfectly edited or cropped to please everybody’s opinions .
So, if you continue to read on….BE WARNED… it may be boring, it may not make sense, you may wonder “what the hell is this girl saying that matters at all”.. but the truth is, it doesn't matter.
We often spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of us, what our life is perceived to be and how many people “like” our photos or “follow” us. When we should be spending more time connecting with each other, sharing stories, being present, helping each other through hard times and encouraging each other to strive for more. It is through writing and my pursuit of acting that I hope to inspire others, relate to those in similar situations and maybe provide a laugh or two.
And again if I'm telling the truth, selfishly, this is a good outlet for me. It allows me to get out of my head, say what I'm feeling and work through the crap that comes up..whether 1 person or 100 people read it, it doesn't matter. What matters is I’m being honest. Honest with myself and honest with whoever takes the time to read this. That is… my truth.